The Greatest Generation

Yesterday Jake and I visited his grandparents, Rollie and Lorraine.  We're back home in MN visiting family and gearing up for my cousin's wedding this weekend.  We knew that we'd make it up to Madison at some point to see them, and the visit gave me a lot to ponder about marriage and what I value in my life. 

I first met his grandparents in the summer of 2006 after we started dating.  I remember the first time walking into their house, getting blasted back to past from the smell of it.  Strangely enough, their basement smelled exactly like my own Grandma Lorraine's house, who passed away in 2003.  Even then, I knew it was a good sign that Jake and I were meant to be!  At this point, Rollie was already diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, but he was still living at home being cared for by Lorraine. Jake used to tell me all sorts of stories about things he would do with his Grandpa, the bottling company Rollie ran for many years and that Jake worked for as a teenager, and all the work around his grandparents' house that he would help with.  Jake used to say "I wish you could have met my Grandpa before he got sick," but even now I can still see the twinkling in his eye of the perpetual joker that everyone tells me he used to be, and that's all I need to see to love him dearly!  Eventually the disease's progression became too overwhelming, and Rollie was moved into the nursing home a block away from their home. Lorraine hasn't slowed down one bit, though, since I met her.  She visits Rollie numerous times each day, still does his laundry, and even just washed her car by hand this past week!  She's going to be 89 this year, but with the way she still moves around and how sharp her mind still is you'd never know it! 

Lorraine met Jake and I at the nursing home yesterday afternoon around 4 o'clock.  Rollie was listening to some oldies on his Ipod, and besides being a little tired, seemed to be in good spirits.  We sat down with them both, chatted about what was new, and showed them pictures of our garden and from our honeymoon in Jamaica.  Jake and his Grandpa shared a beer together, and we took some pictures.  They were just amazed at the technology of the digital camera, being able to see the picture right away!

Jake and Rollie sharing a Hub City Brown Ale.

Two hours flew by, and by then Rollie was ready to head off to supper.  Lorraine said, "Goodbye honey," and leaned in and gave her husband of 60+ years a big smooch on the lips.  It took everything in my power not to start crying from the bittersweet moment, and even thinking back on it now brings tears to my eyes.  How hard it must be for her to say goodbye to him every day, for both of them to be alone at night, when for so long they had always been together.  But also how wonderfully sweet it is to see such love, dedication, and devotion after so many years, especially when no one seems to take marriage vows all that seriously anymore.  I'm sure that they have had their bad times just like anyone in any marriage, but to witness the love that years have built up was something quite special.  Both Jake and I remarked upon later that it's at this point in someone's life--when adults become children again and need to be taken care of--that it suddenly becomes so clear why having a partner, children, and family are so important.  I don't think anyone ever wants to be alone, but when you start to think forward to your later years, the need to keep your family close and strong becomes so much more apparent. 

Tom Brokaw rightly called their generation "The Greatest Generation" for their sense of duty, love, and practicality.  I lament that my own generation doesn't have more of those three things, three things still so evident in his grandparents today.  We talked with his grandparents about all the hard work they had to do, raising their families, working without technology, through the Great Depression and numerous wars.  But it was that kiss between two people who had made it through tough times and good that spoke volumes.  I hope that someday Jake and I can live up to their standards of duty, love, and practicality.  Because if it ends with a kiss like that, it'll all have been worth it.